As best can be determined, I represent the sixth generation of worship leaders in my immediate family. I have received a rich heritage. My ancestors came from Sweden and were involved in the planting of house church and Bible study meetings that date back to the 18th century. Because of the persecution of the government to try to dominate and control the churches in Sweden, my family began the process of emigrating to America. My great great grandfather emigrated to the Midwest and became part of the community of believers, which established a number of churches in the Minnesota area. These churches represented a dream for my ancestors, freedom to worship without restraint. My father and grandfather and great-grandfather were all involved in the worship life of the church. They were not particularly gifted or called to teach or preach, but their passion was worship.
Beginning in 1995, I the renewal movement began to affect many churches and ministries throughout the world. Most of them had to wrestle with basic basic questions such as,
If this is the Lord, what is our responsibility?
I went to a number of renewal meetings, and the presence of the Lord was palatable and real. But as I was prayed for, nothing really happened to me. In terms of manifestation, there was nothing measurable... but internally. I believe something was planted in my heart of a hunger and the connection with the Holy Spirit in worship. I had not yet experienced this, although I had seen many others moved.
I was not looking for a manifestation... after all I had been in, all in the life of the church as a leader assistant pastor teacher, etc. for some 20 years. But there was a genuine one and growing hunger for something new... which was defined by a renewed first love experience
Interestingly enough, songwriters such as Matt Redman captured the same desire in songs like When the Music Fades, or Lord, I Give You My Heart. I remember singing a song called, I Will Never Be the Same Again.
I will never be the same again,
I can never return, I've closed the door.
I will walk apart, I'll run the race
And I will never be the same again.
I will never be the same again,
I can never return, I've closed the door.
I will walk apart, I'll run the race
And I will never be the same again.
Fall like fire, soak like rain,
Flow like mighty waters, again and again.
Sweep away the darkness, burn away the chaff,
And let a flame burn to glorify Your name.
There are higher heights, there are deeper seas,
Whatever you need to do, Lord do in me.
The Glory of God fills my life,
And I will never be the same again.
Fall like fire, soak like rain,
Flow like mighty waters, again and again.
Sweep aways the darkness, burn away the chaff
And let a flame burn to glorify Your name.
Fall like fire, soak like rain,
Flow like mighty waters, again and again.
Sweep away the darkness, burn away the chaff,
And let a flame burn to glorify Your name.
I will never be the same again,
I can never return, I've closed the door.
I will walk the path, I will run the race
And I will never be the same again.
And I will never be the same again.
And I will never be the same again.
The cruise ship dream. Moving out of the safe harbor and exploring new territory are all part of this challenge to step out into deeper seas.
I believe these are dangerous songs to sing. When these are the genuine parts of the expression of a renewed heart, God begins to require of us to follow him into new territory... just like Abraham, we begin stepping off our map.
When you ought are and are sensitive to the Holy Spirit. You are opening yourself up to an area of repentance. Repentance from performance, expectations, and manipulation. You begin the process of learning to listen to the Holy Spirit as he is the best worship leader... it's his specialty and he is an expert at glorifying Jesus.
I remember listening to the Holy Spirit as he spoke to me in. Even as I was leading worship. I remember once, he said: do you love me? And that reply, like Peter. Of course, I love you. He asked me once again, and even a third time, same question. Then come he asked for something... my guitar. He asked me to give me the instrument, which for musicians often become so closely part of our identity that it is difficult to separate our gift from our heart.
Like Abraham surrendered his son Isaac on the altar, he surrendered his future. In obedience to the Lord. He gave up his DNA, his identity, and his hope of a generational line, which would continue based on what the father had already promised.
Romans 12 speaks of the act of worship as presenting ourselves as a living sacrifice. In obedience, worshipers all over the world are beginning to do this with freedom.
As my ancestors left over 150 years ago for America for a new freedom of worship, so I personally have experienced a personal reformation of the heart, which included an invitation to step into new territory.
Portland international Airport, Japan and Korea, Mount Tabor, Public School System, Worship at the River in Troutdale, small gatherings in homes, and... right here.
